Let's Be Clear: Problem Solved

I think we can all calm down after that wonderful BREAKING NEWS we had today. The new banner does look and feel great. I think it brings out the best in us. That being said, I think it is time we do some real hard-hitting pieces. Some earth shattering stuff. So hear I go: With my first edition of "Let's Be Clear," I'm going after the airline safety manual. I don't know if anyone else has stumbled across this gem, but I did on a domestic flight from Chicago to Dallas (I felt like I needed to add domestic flight, to be fair I've never taken anything other than a domestic flight). But here is what I stumbled across. I never knew why I was so afraid of flying when I was a little boy, now I know. I am so glad I never sat next to this guy who is forcing this boy to do something naughty.

BOY:
"Mister, the flight attendant was right, the bag isn't filling up with air."

CREEPY MAN WHO SAYS HE IS FLYING FOR 'PLEASURE':
"Ahhhh...Trust me, it's working"